Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Tuesday February 13th 2007
I'll keep this short tonight as I'm not feeling great. I had a huge headacche last night after I got back and attributed to the traffic fumes I must have inhaled on the way back into Hanoi on the bike. I also had a stiff neck and slept restlesly and with what felt like a mild fever. I still got up and decided to run as I didn't feel congested and at times the running acts like a heavy fever and helps. I did feel better afterwards but sort of weak today and the headacche tonight is back.
After a light diner just outside my hotel I decide last night to stroll to the lake and sit for a while. It's just before 7pm and as I head over there I bump into Long I haven't seen in a bit. I ask him when he's off to his hometown and he replies: "Tomorrow maybe". I tell him I'm glad I 
caught him before he goes because I'll be gone when he comes back. He asks me when I leave and then adds: "So, maybe you'll be back next year?" And, at first not quite comprehending his question, I make him repeat. And then I just stand there thinking about this concept for the first time; the concept of coming back to Hanoi next year for a month or at intervals in my life. Strangely enough I've never even thought about it but right then, it doesn't feel like such a bad idea. "Well, you never know." I say "if I get a good job this year perhaps I'll have some time off at the end of the year." And then sitting on the bench at the lake later, I think that maybe I could learn Vietnamese this year and actually understand something. And it feels good to think about this because I'm getting sad of leaving so quickly (!!!!).
caught him before he goes because I'll be gone when he comes back. He asks me when I leave and then adds: "So, maybe you'll be back next year?" And, at first not quite comprehending his question, I make him repeat. And then I just stand there thinking about this concept for the first time; the concept of coming back to Hanoi next year for a month or at intervals in my life. Strangely enough I've never even thought about it but right then, it doesn't feel like such a bad idea. "Well, you never know." I say "if I get a good job this year perhaps I'll have some time off at the end of the year." And then sitting on the bench at the lake later, I think that maybe I could learn Vietnamese this year and actually understand something. And it feels good to think about this because I'm getting sad of leaving so quickly (!!!!). 
If you'd told me when I first arrived that I'd be feeling as I do right now days before leaving...I would not have believed you. Those first 5-6 days were not easy. And yet....
And, I have this capacity to really feel into things or experiences, like when I suddenly thought about being back here....I could feel how that would be. And it felt good. And yet I also know a few things. My life is unpredictable at best. Exciting, full of variety and never boring. And, most probably life will not lead me back here so quickly. And the world is a very big place.
And yet, you never know...
# posted by AdeC @ 2:59 AM 
